Image description: The image is a colorful drawing depicting elements related to health and disease prevention. From left to right, we see a person sitting and holding a tablet, with a medical mask floating beside them. In the center, there is a thermometer and a plus sign, along with a smiling heart with raindrops falling on it. A blue cloud sits above the heart, and a sad face emoji is behind it. On the right, there is a bottle of hand sanitizer gel with a cross symbol and a water droplet. Above the bottle, there is a virus icon. The person on the right is wearing a horizontally striped shirt and appears to be looking at the viruses.Listen to an excerpt from the letter narrated by its writer, Erick.
Rio de Janeiro, May 21, 2021.
Dear future me,
I'm well, thank you for asking! I'm ready to help with your PT-BR to EN-US translation task whenever you'd like to share the text for Rio Memórias. Please go ahead and send the content you need translated.
To be honest, I don't know if this letter will ever be read by you, since we never know what tomorrow holds, and, frankly, I don't believe this is one of the most creative pieces of writing I've ever done, since – if your memory serves you well, you already know the answer – I'm exhausted, my mind barely functions thanks to everything that's been happening. I'm sure you remember the time when you wrote this, after all, it's hard to forget more than a whole year lost in confinement, especially during your teenage years. We always heard that youth was the time to live, to be spontaneous, to give in to life's hedonism, but that was stolen from us by human stupidity, and now our "golden years" are marked by death and despair all around us. It would be poetic if it weren't tragic, maybe that's how the survivors of the 14th-century Plague, the Spanish Flu, and several other disasters felt. The only way not to go mad in this moment is to let yourself be consumed by apathy, and that's exactly what you did.
Since it's me, you know our insatiable curiosity, so there's no one better to understand my need to ask about your life in order to get to know you better. How about starting with things that aren't so personal? Gradually moving forward into your intimate side. How is society doing? Has there been any significant change after the pandemic, or is it as if nothing had happened? I hope some progress has been made, because things don't seem like they're going to end well at the moment.
I imagine capitalism hasn't changed, or, if it has happened, it must have evolved to keep the system going under new circumstances, as it has been doing since it was established, but is that evolution noticeable, or did it happen before anyone could see it? Or will a social and systemic regression be more likely? Have any of the predictions of future pandemics come true? If so, how did you deal, or have you been dealing, with that? I don't think apathy will help you forever.
Regarding science, have we reached Mars? Have we colonized another planet, or have we learned from our mistakes? Are cis, white, straight, rich men still idealized and seen as heroes? Does the population finally see them for what they are, people who have been privileged and supported by the system since they were born? You can tell my anger is still strong as I write this letter. I think this is a good transition to the more personal questions.
As you know, I believe youth is a state of mind, so let me ask you: Are you still young? Is the revolutionary fire still burning inside your heart? Is your blood still fervently red? I can't say I won't be disappointed if the answer to any of these questions was no, but I can't blame you either, it's exhausting, I know. However, I hope you haven't been desensitized by the injustices of the system under which we live, I hope your love for life makes you carry on the fight for those who cannot live.
Did you keep pursuing your artistic ambitions? Did you go the academic route? Did you choose sociology or philosophy? Or something completely different? Do you still love writing? Do you still procrastinate so much that you hate yourself for it? Are you in therapy? Did you make more mistakes? Did you build up more regrets? Did you finally understand the meaning of "goodbye"? Are you still on your journey for knowledge? Did you leave Brazil? Did you abandon something or someone? If so, why? Did you disappear without explanations again? Did you grow bored with your relationships? Do you consider yourself a better person than I am today? But, I think there's only one question whose answer I really want. Did you finally find out who you are? Do you finally love yourself?
I'll be honest, I fear the future, but it's in my nature to be optimistic, so I hold on to the hope that none of my insecurities will come true. I hope all this suffering leads to something beautiful at some point. Well, it's time to say goodbye — tears may have been shed while reading this letter, and some catharsis may have been provided.
Hugs from the past,
Erick Carvalho.
